Purpose: To write my thoughts of the day if I feel that it is important or worth value.
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Spring 2019 Archive
2019.09.27: I got my internet in the barracks set up today. I didn't even get the chance to use the barracks shitty wifi but I'm glad I waited and didn't pay for it. Setting up the internet was actually really easy. Comcast Xfinity is the only decent option here. I bought a modem from the store and I already had my own router with librecmc and hooked them up together. Called Xfinity, gave them my information and location, got the plan and unlimited data that I wanted. Several minutes later I got internet service working perfectly! A lot of people have horrible experiences with Xfinity but I'm glad that it was quick and easy for me. Maybe it is because I am on military base though. The customer service representative was great. They even give a discount to Military and I actually end up paying less for internet than during my time in Japan.
My sponsor told me that he is filing for divorce with his wife. He is separating from her and will actually be living in the barracks. I'm glad that he took the steps to move forward and away from this woman!
I got invited to a super sekret chink animu club. It looks like one of the most sophisticated private trackers yet. Thank you dear friend for inviting me! I will do what I can to keep my account in good shape.
2019.09.26: I have arrived in California at the new base yesterday. I will be living here for the next 5 years. First impressions of California is that it is very dry with a lot of farmland in this rural area. Supposedly it also very rarely rains here as opposed to Okinawa which rains almost everyday depending on the weather and season.
The barracks rooms in this base are actually smaller than I thought...Even smaller than the Marine barracks in Okinawa. The layout is rectangular and a bit smaller. The amount of walking space is very small. This is a bit problematic for me because I have 8 big boxes of about ~3000 music CDs in total... Luckily the closet room is surprisingly big and I might actually be able to fit a lot of it in there. As much as I want to build a NAS the room is so small (especially with a roommate) that it makes me want to buy a pre-built NAS instead. The barracks are in the middle of everything which makes it nice for Sailors without vehicles to walk fairly short distances to whatever they want to do.
The base is separated into three sections. There is the main side which contains all of the ordinary stores and buildings. There is the housing side which is literally nothing but housing for married people that don't want to live outside of the base. There is the operations side where all of the aircraft and aircraft hangars are. It is about 7 miles away from the main side which the barracks are at. There is a lot of traffic in the morning due to _everyone_ coming into work at almost the same time. There is a bus that transports sailors without vehicles in the morning to a certain time in the evening. The lowly E4s and below with vehicles have to park far away from the aircraft hangar and its about a 5 minute walk which is pretty long.
I work in the supply department with about 10-15 other LSs. The entire command is almost only a few hundred of Military. The aircraft hangar is massive with atleast 4 to 5 of our own aircraft. This is a big adjustment for me because in my last command I have only worked with up to 4 other Military people and the rest are all DoD civilians and Japanese people. It is just so wildly different. My last command was broken into detachments in different countries which made administrative and IT work unique and pretty annoying because all of that has to be performed over email or the phone. All of that is done here locally which makes it easy to get shit done. I have to work much longer hours (10-12) in addition to standing duty/watch which really sucks. Less free time for me.
My Supply department has some pretty kool people to work with so far but I feel that I might not fit in too much. Everyone swears quite often and messes around a lot. I almost never swear in real life and am very chill and quiet which may make me seem boring but I'm sure some people would appreciate that. I am too innocent for my own sake lol. As I suspected no one really shares any of my hobbies or interests.
When you first check into a new command they have you gather a bunch of signatures from program managers and Sailors in the command for a check-in sheet. As I was getting signatures for my check-in sheet I met a very cute female Sailor in the Admin department. Very pretty, friendly, and feminine! Very girly handwriting and voice. Never has a woman really caught my attention since I rarely interact with woman to begin with. She seems to be in the command for a few more years so I will secretly adore her for quite some time.
My sponsor and fellow Sailor seems to be one of the best LSs in the Supply department from brief oberservations. He knows his shit and does a lot of the work. I'm glad that he is my sponsor as I feel that the other LSs wouldn't be as helpful as he is. I feel pretty bad about his married life though. His wife is in the US Navy as well in the same base from a different command but she really sounds like a scumbag. They have a child too which makes it worse. 9k credit card debt, always late to work, my sponsor pays most of the bills, she has access to his online accounts and changes his passwords because of jealousy and superiority... Etc. She sounds very immature and he has to suffer because of that. The one thing that my sponsor said that was an instant red flag for me is that she attempted to claim false rape on him which would be almost an automatic break up or seperation for me. That is a pretty strong career destroyer and can ruin your life pretty quick. He is scared of divorcing because he feels that legal matters will work out better in her favor and that he will end up having to pay a lot of money for it. He is getting the advice he needs from the leading supply petty officer and will soon separate though. I wish him the best of luck because he doesn't deserve this whatsoever.
2019.09.17: I had read a certain webpage from UK's Parliament about banning lootboxes. At first, I thought that maybe the UK has actually done something good for once...Until I actually read it and gave it some thought.
I absolutely hate lootboxes/microtransactions/gacha games of any kind. They all implement a very easy way for game companies to make money in exchange for digital goods for gamers. Unfortunately this is almost always implemented in such a way to profit and exploit as much money as possible from gullible gamers with lots of money or those prone to temporary pleasure. Regrettably, I was one of them when I was younger. I would always play online shooter games with some online friends during my early to mid teens and pay for microsactions for shit like guns and lootboxes for rare stuff. Years later, I have grown out of playing games for good and realized how much of a waste of money it was. I could have used that money for much better creative entertainment media such as supporting music artists and buying their CDs. Or I could just pocket the money for future use. When you're this young you really do not realize a lot of things in the world at all. What teenager actually reads news or understands whats wrong with the world? We're all narrow-minded about what we do when we are younger. Now, this lootbox/microtransaction/gacha game shit is more rampant than ever with the rise of smartphones and average people using the internet. It pisses me off so much the rate of gacha games that keep appearing in Japan and then the rest of the world because every shitty gaming company wants a piece of the pie. The sad part is that game companies in Japan actually get fucking billions and trillions of yen every year because the average person actually buys into this shit. Fuck making actual games when you can just make a low effort game and throw in some easy monetization right?
Back to the UK Parliament - I heard 'Ban Lootboxes' and thought 'Oh thats sounds good'. Thinking about it, as much as I hate lootboxes/microtransactions/gacha games, banning lootboxes and games is not the solution as I thought it would be. It is basically the same as UK's attempted porn age verification which will NEVER work. UK Parliament recognizes the addiction and exploitation of these games but implementating a half-ass suveillance system will just deprive people of their freedom and privacy. I do not think there is a good solution to preventing people from buying into these games. Only thing that can be done is to be smart about it which most people aren't...
2019.09.10: I was supposed to leave home to my next workplace on September 14 but I finally got an email from my old chief petty officer that my report date was extended by 10 days. More time to spend with family, friends, and myself.
I am still planning to build the NAS and locally store all my entertainment most likely next month. My sister called me and said that I might have to go on deployment in November instead of January as originally planned for whatever reason. This gives me less time to settle in, buy parts, and let me decide how I want to setup the NAS. By the time I finish building I will not have enough time to torrent all the anime series I have watched and want to watch. I will most likely end up with hit and runs on AnimeBytes which I want to avoid. But then I thought of the great idea of just renting a seedbox! I can torrent and seed everything now with significant speeds, go on deployment, transfer everything from the seedbox to the NAS, and end up with a shitload of upload/ratio/yen. Wonderful! I was originally going to get a seedbox from anime fansub group doki.co because I liked the idea of a more personal seedbox albeit a little pricey for what they provide. I thought I would need a 14-16 TB seedbox and was about to email if they could accomodate that. It would be very expensive but not something I would have minded at the time. Thankfully, I randomly looked at the terms of service and noticed that all seedboxes use HDDs with RAID0. For storage purposes, that is a recipe for disaster. I deleted my drafted email and looked elsewhere immediately. I have stumbled upon seedboxes from Pulsed Media which looked to suit my needs at affordable prices. I ended up getting the M1000 Storage 12T plan with 3600 GiB extra storage addon, with HDDs on RAID5, and download/uploads speeds up to 1 Gbps for $63/month. I didn't do much thorough research but this seems like a very good deal to me. I haven't used AnimeBytes and private trackers in general in years so I tested with downloading two torrents. AnimeBytes doesn't allow any usage of VPNs which is a big hindrance but they allow VPNs if it has an unshared static IP address which I might have to configure later on. It blows my mind how fast 1 Gbps is as I saw the two torrents download insanely quickly! The next day for the next several days I have spent countless hours working on a spreadsheet of a list of anime series to torrent. This includes anime series I have watched, planning to watch, OVAs, movies, filesize to accurately measure for seedbox and NAS, if the torrent is freeleech or not, and torrent link. The list is compiled starting from A and ending at Z. So far from A to the middle of S the total size is 7.561 TiB so far. Not as much as I expected honestly but as a friend said its actually pretty hard to fill up the seedbox unless its DVDisos and/or BDMVs. By the time I finish compiling the list I expect it to be about 10-12 TiB.
I am very happy to have just made my own Discord server for airing anime. I am writing this in the realization that it has been very active since the last few days and I really enjoy talking in the little community that I have created. Having been disappointed with every anime server I have joined from discord.me I have decided to just make my own. It is a small but comfy community of mostly people I know. It is active everyday (mostly because I always like to share anime screenshots of series I am watching of the current season). It is fun and engaging with no nonsense typical from other anime servers. Recently there is one guy in particlar that has joined that has highly increased the quality and engagement of the server which makes me happy and relieved. He watches almost literally everything possible and is obviously very passionate even about some of the worst series. He is very versatile which makes him able to engage in conversation with nearly any person. Since I will be on deployment for my job for several months this will mean that I am away from the internet for quite some time. The activity of the server would gradually go down without me being there I can imagine. I feel that I won't have to worry as much anymore with the new guy.
A recurring element that has popped up a few times in the seasonal anime within the past few days that I've been thinking about... that is racism and class hierarchy. In Black Clover, the elves try to overrule the Clover kingdom due to the humans nearly annihilating the elves in the past. In Cop Craft episode 9, Kei and Tilarna walk by a police officer after performing an 'autopsy' of a political candidate for city. The police officer said 'Damn alien' as they passed each other. Kei was very set off by the insult of his partner and made a scene. Kei burned him out with logic. Tilarna was very happy since Kei is usually uncaring and mean to her. In Arifureta Shokugyou de Sekai Saikyou episode 8, Hajime, Yue, and Shea head out to a resturant/inn/whatever. A templar knight talks about Hajime minding his manners and sharing a table with a filthy beastman (Shea). He made a snarky remark that he should cut off Shea's bunny ears to make her look human. Beastman or people with animal features are treated harshly in this series. Shea is very upset by the situation but cheers up when Hajime and Yue tell her not to worry about it and that her ears are cute. In Maou-sama, Retry! episode 10, Luna and her friend Eagle stumble upon what looks to be a mansion or restaurant for the rich when they were six years old. They dream of how they would be able to eat there someday as kids living in poverty. They are met by a group of aristocrats that shame them for being poor. If there is anything that I have learned from all of these examples... It is that you can not judge and treat people based on shallow assumptions. Nobody is born being able to choose their parents, skin color, wealth, etc... The characters that are being discriminated against can't do anything about what they are born with and didn't do themselves as individuals. Do not generalize what you think about one aspect and apply it to everyone else that seems to fits that aspect.
2019.08.28: On the way to my dad's house with my sister-in-law and she has been telling me further details on my mother-in-law's latest lawsuit. My mother-in-law is a wedding planner but a very poor one with no sense of budgeting. She actually loses money because she undercharges, hires people to do the work for her even though she has no money, buys decorations herself because she doesn't have them herself. Even my dad thinks that she should just go out of business lol. She had planned a wedding last month that sounded like it went well until I heard that the bride and her family did not want her to be at the reception _at all_. They most likely will not say anything until the court date. They probably also found negative public records on her that didn't reflect on them very well. The supposed amount that the bride's family was to pay my mother-in-law was $6k for the wedding. Later they said they would only pay $1k. They did pay $1k but they charged back from the bank and got their money back immediately with questions asked later and with no investigation. This led to my mother-in-law to have no money in the bank to the point that she has received atleast 5 overdraft fees of $30 causing her to be in the negatives. My mother-in-law is going to sue the bride's family for three times the initially agreed amount to be paid which would be $18k. She has no money so my dad has to pay to get a lawyer which is a minimum of $3.5k and even more if issues continue. It sounds like she will lose the lawsuit for a couple of reasons. The bride's family are pretty much all police so they have the money to afford good lawyers. I found out that my mother-in-law doesn't actually really do the work herself when she plans out these weddings. She has the photographer and her friend set up all the decorations, tables, chairs, etc. while she just sits there and watch. Because she is obese she'll complain that shes tired or her body hurts or whatever. It would be easy for the bride's family to subpoena my mother-in-law's two employees and anybody else at the wedding to tell the truth of what actually happened at the wedding. They can't really lie and I'm sure they wouldn't actually mind telling the truth because they are legitimately tired of my mother-in-law and her bullshit. If she loses the lawsuit then she'll officially go bankrupt and, by association via marriage, my dad will have to pay for all the fees. This is like an early wake up call telling me to be very careful if I ever decide to be in an involved relationship.
Has my dad ever actually looked into the history of this obese woman? My sister-in-law told me about her history of problems that came directly from her mouth. She used to be a drug addict and had to do 'shady' jobs to stay alive. It was her own father that had to help her back to the right path again. She was in debt of a few ten thousands before meeting my dad. My baby brother lost his spot at daycare two times so she offloads him to my dad so he has to take care of him every single day. Her idea of cleaning the house is to pile useless garbage into one spot. My sister-in-law told me that my old room looks like a pile of shit thats ready to be lit on fire with a lighter to start a bonfire lol. Shes rude to people and probably doesn't realize it herself. Everytime my sister-in-law tries to give her advice - It goes in one ear and out the other. All of her friends and employees are recovering drug addicts with mental problems and even they are tired of her. The list goes on and on. My dad can't even defend her actions. There is nothing but financial problems and stress. Where is the love?
2019.08.27: Two people tried to ridicule me about my audio gear in a Discord music server I frequently talk in. Someone said that audio players are a dying breed to which I replied that audiophiles keep it alive. Then he made a snarky statement that they 'gatekeep and keep pretentiousness alive as well' I don't disagree with this statement because there _is_ a lot of bad reputation about audiophilism like my friend said. There _is_ indeed a lot of snake oil and people that don't really know what they're talking about when they try to describe audio or hardware. The thing is that this particular statement was directed to me. There are a few other people in the server that are also into audio but I was most likely picked on in particular because I have the most expensive audio gear and I was actively chatting at the time. 'LMAO indeed (Looking at you rain).' 'SHOTS FIRED' 'I buy semiexpensive audio hardware but I have never considered myself an audiophile. Because of all the shitty doujin EDM I listen to. I mean - Who really buys $500 IEMs then brags about the latest makinaforce album.' I didn't particularly care much but I'm open to criticism and was curious to know what their issue with me was. I tried getting them to say what their point was but nothing really came out of it. I have said stuff about my audiophile gear but I have not once said that I considered myself an audiophile. I don't recall ever being snobby or elitist about my audio setup. I took pictures, showed them to people, tell them how much they cost and thats it. They can think of the cost however they want themselves. Nor have I bragged about this 'makinaforce album' if that comment was supposed to be directed to me. I don't listen to only doujin music either. Sound quality will always improve regardless of the audio and mastering quality of the music. Even badly mastered music will still sound sonically better than lower-end audio in most cases. In the end, I just love music to an extreme degree. I'm not like those people that have multiple headphones, IEMs, etc. just to listen to different songs with different sound signatures. That is way too much of a money sink for me. I've done enough research on audio when I was 12 years old and onward to try to find the headphones and IEMs I've wanted. I don't care about being able to describe the sound in autistic detail and try to argue with other people. I just want to find the best audio setup for me to listen to music with and be done. Thats all that matters.
Recently I have bought new IEMs and a new DAP. It is the most perfect combination of audio gear I have found for myself so far and I am extremely happy with my purchase. It will last several years and decades as long as I take proper care of them. If I don't want it anymore then I can still sell it to other people passionate about audio. The DAP I got was a slightly updated version of the one that I had in he past. It had moderate improvements for being the same price. Even though the DAP I had before was great I decided to buy the new one since the old one was having battery issues. It could have been easily replaced but I just opted to get the new one and keep the old one. If I want to I can still get the battery replaced and sell it to someone else to recoup some of my money. After having a good feel of the sound of the IEMs and DAP I decided to compared my old and new DAP in sound. In audiophile reviews there is always comparisons about the difference in sound in hardware. Expensive Headphone/IEM cables and 'hi-res' music (unless it has better mastering) are snake oil that I will never believe in. No I don't listen to music from Youtube... I do get all my music straight from the audio source which are CDs, official digital store downloads, or illegal uploads and from people I trust. Headphones make the most audibly sound quality difference. Amplifier and then the implementation of the DAC make the least audibly difference. The old and new DAP have the same DAC chip but the newer DAP has better DAC implementation and an improved amplifier. I was almost not expecting to hear a difference at all but to my surprise there actually _was_ a minor but improved difference. Skipping the fluff with a simple explanation - The most noticeable thing I heard was that there was a more 'blacker background'. The bass was ever so slightly more present and the clarity just a tiny bit more clearer. Was it worth the cost for the upgrade? To me, yes. I have the money that I am willing to trade for a higher quality enjoyment. I decided to buy a different amp module for the DAP that used tubes rather than a solid state implentation. I've spent very little time with it but that is something that I kind of regret spending money on. There was a ridiculous amount of waterfall hiss present and it was technically inferior in clarity. I can try to keep using it but I don't think my opinion of the amp module will change. At some point when getting into very high-end audio, price doesn't matter as much and its more about the sound signature. People try to objectively price high-end audio to a certain value but subjectively almost none of the high-end audio is actually worth its price. It all depends on the person if they are willing to spend the money or not. One thing for certain though is that I will never spend money on vastly overpriced products from Astell & Kern.
2019.08.26: I am now back home. I took an AMC flight to the US then regular commercial flight when I went back to home. Supposedly I have heard that AMC flights were shit but its not too bad. It is kind of annoying how long you have to wait though. Check in time was 0320 to 0700 and the plane was supposed to depart 0920 but left at like 1040 instead. I got there at 0430. It was a long ass wait. Had to make two stops too two different places in Japan before actually going back to the US. On the 2nd stop they told us to take a 1 /2 to 2 hour break. Wasn't too bad overall.
I'm not good with remembering family terms. I had to look up that my brother's wife's son is my nephew. Anyway, my nephew picked me up at the airport with his friend. His friend was pretty kool. The most interesting thing was that he was only 19 but he was working in the oil industry. He was making $20/hour and making over $100k/year. Absolutely no prior skills or knowledge required - Just pure hard work. I thought that was crazy awesome until he told me that he works almost everyday working long ass shifts. He works around or over 100 hours per week. After work he just goes to sleep and on his off days he still mostly just sleeps anyway. While he is making great money it would hurt me quite a lot not having free time to do anything at all. He loves the job though so whatever.
The day arrived back home was actually the day of my older brother's wedding. He was finally getting married after being with the same woman for 10 years. I was originally supposed to leave Japan last week but because my transfer paperwork was processed so late that I got pushed back another week. I actually didn't mind that because I didn't really want to go through the hassle at being at my brother's wedding and I was able to spend more time with my Japanese and older coworker. It turns out that when I arrived at the airport at almost midnight the wedding was _still_ going on until just a little bit after midnight. That is one long ass wedding. My 'mother-in-law' decided to rent a community center building in the town next to where I lived. I got to see most of my family again and some of my brother's and sister's friends. It was really weird seeing one of my sister's friends and her daughter and son. She had gotten really overweight somehow when she used to be so skinny. Her daughter and son have really grown. I could barely recognize them anymore. I had to ask my sister in private if she was pregnant because I didn't want to come off as rude. She said no and laughed. My nephew of my sister has really long hair for his young infant age. It turns out that she won't be cutting it at all and will let his hair grow out as long as a girls. I found that my dad wasn't at the wedding atleast not when I was there. Turns out that he had to leave early because of my baby 'brother'. Supposedly he was eating food off of peoples' plates and being a nuisance so my dad had to take him back home early. Since I got there late at the wedding I ended up having to clean up.
Now, the main reason I wanted to write this journal entry. There was quite some drama that stirred up. I didn't have any direct involvement. My niece wasn't exactly a smart woman. She has gave birth to a daughter at only 15 years old and the father was irresponsible, immature, and eventually went his own way without her. What I didn't know until the wedding is that she had yet another daughter with a different man. The daughter is about 3 or 4 years old. I had a quick glance of my niece's boyfriend and don't really know him at all. I don't know his history either but from his actions that night I can tell that he definitely seems like a shitty person. I was helping cleaning up in the building until I heard some obnoxiously loud yelling outside. One of my brother's friends was talking to my niece about my brother and the wedding but apparently the boyfriend took it the wrong way and thought that he was flirting with her. I heard he was drinking alcohol too which makes it worse from his impaired senses. He also had a suspended driver's license so he wouldn't be able to drive without the possibility of being pulled over by the police. This guy supposedly grew up in a rough neighborhood which affected his growth in a negative way. Just from him yelling at my niece like that I can tell that he needed either anger management classes or professional therapy. My niece was trying to calm him down but she ended up emotionally distressed and crying for quite some time. My brother and sister-in-law were quite heated and also went to argue with him. It was obvious that they didn't like each other at all. The boyfriend went away somewhere for several minutes but noticed that he didn't have his car keys which for whatever reason was with my brother. He walked back to the community center building and asked my brother for his car keys. As my brother was handing him back his keys, the boyfriend purposely dropped his phone on the ground and was about to punch my brother in the face. My brother noticed and so he did a quick slap to his face instead. I didn't see it but I heard some screaming about it. My initial thoughts was that he was stabbed which actually would have made my heart sank but thankfully that wasn't the case. Everyone thought he was a shitty person and we didn't understand why my niece was in a relationship with him. The next day I had heard that they were indeed in an abusive relationship. He was the aggressor by always yelling at her, giving her scratches and bruises, etc. How she manages to find and 'love' these men is beyond me. Any other person hearing about this relationship would certainly run away as far as possible. This isn't the 1st abusive relationship but it is actually the 2nd. It is either that she falls in love with the wrong people or she is making some very obviously poor life decisions. The 1st daughter of hers actually does not even want to live with her anymore because there is no parental love, affection, and she has to endure hearing or watching the abuse continue.
On my way home to my dad's house I was talking to my sister-in-law about the family and if anything in the town and city has changed. We have a talk like this every year I come back to my hometown. My dad and 'mother-in-law' get worse and worse every year it seems. Them having a baby in their mid to late 40s was an extremely bad idea. They can barely even take care of themselves properly. The house is dirty to the point that no one wants to celebrate any holiday there anymore. My mother-in-law's father or whatever family term it is recently passed away from disease or something. My dad and mother-in-law inherited some of his furniture and $50k. $50k is quite a lot of money yet somehow its all gone. Supposedly it was used for bills but its all gone. Even after receiving $50k she is still somehow $21k in debt. How is it possible to spend all that money so quickly? She also got sued 3 times and is currently in a lawsuit with another person which makes her financial situation worse. She has less than $200 in the bank. My dad is retired from the US Navy after 20 years of service and gets a retirement paycheck every month. However, even with that free paycheck every month they are still financially struggling somehow. He doesn't currently have a job and can't really have a job because he is too busy caring for the baby brother. It has been confirmed that he has autism. Call me an asshole all you want but right now I most certainly don't think of him as my baby brother and more of a retarded vegetable. He doesn't respond to people at all. The only word I heard him speak is 'hi'. My dad only feeds him fish sticks and Dr. Pepper soda as far as I'm aware. Hes always dirty so I try to brush him off when he tries to touch me. Hes almost 4 years old and still not potty trained. Hes always inside the house so he doesn't really even know what its like outside. Everyone is worried about when he goes to school because he'll most likely cause chaos there as well. My dad has been forgetting more and more basic things such as forgetting to pay the electricity/water/car/phone bill so he gets charged late fees. I've heard that there was a water leak in the house and the water bill goes as high as $200/month. For some reason they still haven't fixed that leak yet either. It is an absolute mess. This obese woman has trapped my dad and brought over all her problems that he doesn't really deserve. He should have stayed single or found a better woman because now she will be stressing him out mentally and financially for the rest of his life. I am thankful to my sister-in-law for trying to help them out from time to time with advice. Honestly I don't want any part of their situation. Maybe I should rethink staying in the Military for 20 years and get that retirement paycheck or get a good paying job away from my hometown.
Having become a more health conscious person, I started trying eating healthier foods. For the past few days that I have been here I have come to realize that everyone except my sister's family eats almost nothing but processed garbage. So far I've had greasy filipino food from the wedding, chinese fast food, two packs of the super cheap maruchan noodles for dinner, two toaster strudles for breakfast, and greasy pizza for lunch. I don't really have any choice but to drink shitty filtered water from the refrigorator with the fishy taste. None of those things are healthy. No one knows about healthy eating except for my sister and her family. The absolute worst thing is my dad feeding my baby brother nothing but fish sticks and Dr. Pepper. Obviously hes not getting any proper nutrition or eating healthy whatsoever. I've been to the convenient store, Walmart, Whattaburger and noticed that theres so much processed garbage everywhere. Walmart prioritizes quantity over quality for everything. When I went to Whattaburger with my sister-in-law I just wanted a drink and got like a 1.5 liter cup. Thats fucking huge compared to any other country and Japan. Its no wonder why this city is one of the fattest in America. Its no wonder why America has so many fucking obese people. I can't wait to have my own appartment so I can cook my own real whole food.
I am glad to have raised myself in isolation for almost all of my life so far without the influence of my family. I am sure that I would not have turned out this way positively otherwise. I am glad to have been mostly influenced positively by watching anime and learning from Japanese culture during my time in Japan. I am convinced that my personality and morals has developed because of Japan and my friend digdeeper. I am glad to have learned from the internet in a _positive_ way. It can be very easy these days to get tricked into nonsense political bullshit, transgender memes, social media garbage, extremist content, etc. these days. I can never think to be an abusive person. I almost never swear in real life because I know that its just not for me. I don't smoke because of the obvious health concerns related to it. I've been able to legally drink alcohol for a few years now but I don't because of incidents like the one at my brother's wedding. Of course it is fine in moderation but it doesn't affect certain people very well. After my brother's wedding, I was driven home by my nephew and his friend. The vehicle was owned by the friend. The friend was drunk and also pissed off because someone said something to him at the wedding that he didn't like. My nephew tried to reason with him logically that the certain person was also drunk and not in the right state of mind but it didn't go well. The friend said at one point to 'get out of the car'. His emotions were a bit too intense that night and it rubbed me the wrong way. Words don't have to hurt you if you are a strong person. For alcohol, I don't want to know what its like to lose control of myself yet. I am waiting for a 'special moment' when I feel that the time is right. I would like to eat healthier because of of the corrupted food industry and wanting to live and feel better. There is too much corruption in the world and in people. I am not without faults but I want to be the best person I can be when I am around people and friends. I would like to show that I am kind, considerate, and caring. If we were all nicer to each other, more selfless, more informed, and actually cared about things then we wouldn't be suffering as much. The world can be a better place but it takes more than one person to change for the better. It may be a losing war but it is one that I will continue to fight.
Edit: Fixed some typos and some extra details. I visit my family only once per year for 2-3 weeks. My sister, her husband, and infant son are financially and emotionally stable. They are one happy family that are actually happy and content with each other. Same thing with my brother and his wife but they don't really eat very well (In terms of nutrition). I don't really interact with my niece since shes in a city a few hours away and she doesn't really visit often. Shes quite trapped with her current abusive boyfriend from her poor life decisions. My nephew of my brother is planning to join the US Navy for an overall better life. The only real issue is my dad and mother-in-law. Despite my dad's retirement monthly pay and inheritance of $50k from mother-in-law's father, they are financially and emotionally distressed due to poor life decisions. Unless they actually talk to each other and work things out - Things will not get better. I am betting that it will continue to get worse and worse.
2019.08.23: I open up my journal.html for the first time in forever and notice that it has been a bit over a month since I have last updated it. Damn thats a long time. I have been busy with preparing to move back to the US from Japan. But I have also been kind of 'lazy' too... Hate that word but sometimes it fits. I most certainly will miss Japan. I should be a lot more active after I have settled into my new place and job. I have been mostly with my Japanese coworker and my retired Marine officier coworker during the last two weeks. This is the most human that I've felt in quite a long time. All of my personal belongings has been packed by the shipping company and so I have almost nothing except the essentials. I have been at my Japanese coworker's appartment since my stuff was packed. In all my time here I have made friends with a 47 year old woman and a 63 year old man. As someone in my early 20s, I'm pretty sure this is unusual. Even though we don't really have any of the same interests or hobbies at all they really liked me during my time here. They have described me as hardworking, incredibly laidback, always content, very enjoyable and relaxing to be around, a man with no ego. They said that I could be friends with people of any age which is interesting to hear. I don't mind that idea either. Of course I really enjoyed their company and will miss them as well. Not much time so thats it for now...
2019.07.08: Working like normal until my Japanese coworker asks me. She bought some wireless bluetooth IEMs from the store for maybe around $100. She was confused and expected wired IEMs so now she is going return them. Apparently she can't fucking read that the front and back of the box literally says 'SUPERIOR WIRELESS SOUND' and the picture showing no earphone cable with headphone hack but instead two IEM pieces cabled together. I keep having to repeat this all the time but her level of incompetence is far and beyond. She should really just go back to her flip phone and call it a day.
Apparently we got a temporary summer hire worker until mid-late August for work. We honestly don't even need one since we're pretty much taking care of things ourselves. He was a 14 year old Asian teenager which is pretty damn young to be working. He will be working 8 hours Monday to Friday but for only $6.75/hour. The government cucked him even lower than minimum wage in most states wew. Before he came we were having a hard time just thinking of what he should even do for us. We ended up just making him clean tools used for aircraft maintenance for now. A lot of tools rust and corrode pretty fast and this was actually a good opportunity to tidy up our tool program I guess. He doesn't really seem to care that much about being here just by observing him on his first day here though. He rarely talks, not really enthusiastic about work, keeps his Apple earpods in his ears, see him using his iPhone a bit, doesn't really care about talking to the civilians, didn't say goodbye to us when he left at the end of the day... It just makes me wonder why he is even here. Either his parents forced him to take up a job for experience or he just wants play money. Not saying that those are bad things but he could be a bit brighter.
2019.07.07: Real emotional support hours. My Japanese coworker has robbed me of 7 1/2 hours today. I should be paid for my time woman!!! Just kidding. Apparently reading Reddit /r/relationships for a few hours has made me an expert mentor when my Japanese coworker asks me for relationship advice. After lunch time she asked me to meet at the Military base library that almost nobody goes to. Its always dead there with very little people which also makes it nice because it is always quiet and peaceful. Fortunately she didn't really ask me for much technological assistance today. She got some double 'A' batteries for an old cheaper model camera which I thought was needed in order to get the pictures off of the SD memory card. The camera contains pictures of her son's school trip which was supposedly pretty important to him. I replaced the batteries with the newer ones and connected the camera to her Microsoft Surface tablet/laptop. The laptop gives an error message saying that it can't detect and read the fucking camera. Then I decided to see if the computers provided by the library happen to have SD card slots which they did. Luckily they actually did. I put the SD card into the slot of one computer and got the pictures into her personal external HDD and onto her son's external HDD. After that she asked me questions for an hour straight about her relationship issues with the married man that she became emotionally attached to. Some new information that she revealed to me was that he actually has two children who are now in their 20s and that she had lunch with him in a public food court. While it sounded like nothing special - a random friend of the married man's wife that happened to be there took a picture of them together on their smartphone and had 'anonymously' sent it to the wife via Facebook Messenger app. The wife I'm sure was pretty furious and jealous and I didn't hear the details of what kind of mess he is in now.
My Japanese coworker kept asking analytical and situational questions to me for an hour straight. It was like "Do you think I should have said yes to him when he asked me to be with him even though he wasn't officially divorced but separated?" No. "What if he decided that he was going to stay for another year? He is leaving earlier because he is heart broken due to me." No because he was trying to pressure, manipulate, guilt trip, force you to make a decision too soon. "Why am I so heart broken even though we were never together and when he was still married?" He appeared in your life at a time when your mother is now stuck in a retirement home, all important and good friends (Including me) are all leaving within a year, and he gave you self-confidence and the attention that you liked. Her best friend thinks that she is mistaking her feelings of love for companionship which makes sense to me. And a bunch of other questions that I don't remember as vividly anymore.
After that for a few hours, she asked me to research some websites for making friends and men to date. Mind you, I never looked up these websites before and don't know shit about any of them. I just type in Okinawa meetup in the search engine and bam - Found some meetup website. There looks to be a decent amount of groups that she can join and meet up with people. I was going to have her register an account but it turns out that she already had an account. A lot of the groups seemed inactive which kinda sucks. Then I found a group that does language exchange and it was very active - There was language exchange meetups at a big mall every Tuesday and Friday night. They also did other events occasionally such as trekking and going to food restaurants. This seemed like a perfect oppurtunity for her to meet up and make friends literally. She had some questions about stuff like age range and if there were any Military people so I advised her to contact the group organizer. Of course I had to show her how to do that but atleast she got the message sent. To my surprise the group organizer responded very, very quickly within 10 minutes. I wasn't expecting that she would have to wait for several hours to two days in the least but this was nice. Turns out that the group organizer was a 57 year old Japanese woman which was also much older than I expected. She was very kind and responded to my coworker's questions clearly and swiftly. She said that there was a LINE group chat which wasn't mentioned in the group's description. My coworker joined the group chat and quite a bit of people welcomed her which was quite touching to her. I'm pretty confident that my Japanese coworker will be able to meet people and make friends this way. I keep telling her that she is a great talker and somehow always finds things to talk about which I'm pretty sure isn't that common.
Moving forward I had her sign up for a dating website which had a fair amount of people in Okinawa. There seems to be quite a bit of shady people there but she was atleast aware of that. The website requires filling out some pretty personal information such as weight and height which kind of made me cringe. Online dating just looking at this website seems like a huge miss and a lot can go wrong. I will never online date myself since it is a privacy nightmare and definitely doesn't seem like it is worth the hassle. She noticed that she actually recognized a man from work and didn't click his profile in case it left digital fingerprints. She wanted to contact someone but her account was 'unverified' and had to wait 24-48 hours to be verified by a staff member of the site so nothing else we could really do here. I had also signed her up to some penpal website. She said it looked slow and probably not very good and I agreed. She got a 'hi' message and a personal message from two different men fairly quickly though. The man that sent her a personal message was from Malaysia which she wasn't really interested in anyone that wasn't on the island already.
The library was going to close soon so we started packing up. My Japanese coworker got a phone call from her best friend and they were talking for like 20 minutes. She told me that she needed to find articles on how to cope with 'loss of friends and loved ones' and print them out so she can read them at home and opted not to use her smartphone for looking that stuff up. She was having a hard time coping with being heartbroken because of the married man. Her best friend had told her that she needs to get over it eventually because it has been months already. Found some quick decent articles and printed them out for her. I installed the Reddit app for her because it is an excellent source of information on whatever topic you can think of. I told her about /r/relationships and that it would be great for her to receive human responses on her relationship issues. I will be helping her with that at a later time.
We went out to eat at a traditional Japanese restaurant which we frequented pretty often. Had great healthy food with balanced portions. We could have ate and left after 30 minutes but she stretched it out to 1 hour 30 minutes with her fucking questions again. This time she actually wrote down my responses that she thought was important to remember. Her best friend told her to do that. She asked me quite a bit of minor questions but wrote down the responses to her more important questions. First thing she wrote down was "Even if I like a married man who promises to divorce her husband, until he is 100% divorced, I will not bother with him (and will not make promises that I will be with him or wait for him)." She asked me that if I really liked a woman enough to want to be in a relationship with her but found out that she was married if I would consider to be with her if she divorced. I said that I would not even think about it until she is 100% divorced. I'll look at official paperwork if I have to. Then she told me a story about how her best friend's guy friend aged around 50 was working full time minimum wage at a convenient store while being in a relationship with a woman that had two kids. Because he didn't earn a lot and they were not officially married they were able to receive government money or whatever. He wasn't allowed to spend any money on himself at all. If he tried to - the woman would LITERALLY CUT him with a knife. Anytime he did something that she did not like she would cut him. The cuts were not deep enough to send him to the hospital but light enough to keep him in fear. Holy fucking shit what an abusive and controlling woman! Absolutely run away from her as far as possible! And so my Japanese coworker's question was "If you were in a romantic relationship that involved violence or weapons, would you stay with them?" Of course, absolutely fucking not. Physical abuse and threats is an absolute no-no and I would instantly separate if a loved one did that to anyone if it wasn't for self-defense. She jotted that down. This lead to her next question: "After he seperated with his wife - She threatened to kill herself with a knife and attempted to drown herself in a bathtub. I mentioned to him that this if very concerning and to advise him to be careful but he took offense to this instead and didn't understand. Do you think my advice was wrong?" Hell no - Your advice was exactly what he needed but unfortunately he is in denial that he should be careful of the woman he was with for 20 years. People wanting to kill themselves because the other person wants to leave the relationship is not supposed to be a normal thing. She needs help - Professional therapy. The wife is getting that at least. Jotted. She asked me if there was anything I should to mention to her going forward with her future relationships. I said to check for red flags to avoid potential relationship issues further down especially if they are not fixable. Jotted. She asked me "Do you think the man I was attached to is a red flag?" Yes - For the reasons I already mentioned probably twice already. Jotted. Last question: "How long would it take for you to cope with being depressed or heartbroken after it was made clear that it wouldn't work or if you've broken up?" I told her that I have never been in a relationship before so I can't say for sure but I am an extremely logical person and that I don't really see myself being depressed for any more than a few days at most. She started focusing on the word 'logical' and then thought how her situation wasn't logical and that it was pretty stupid in the end. Jotted. Now every so often she will look at this list to remind herself of things to look for when looking for men to date and hopefully get into a romantic relationship with. She thanked me very much for my time and for being a great friend. I said you're welcome (While wondering when the fuck we were going to leave because people that got here later than we did are leaving before we do at this point). I wanted to go home after all these nerve racking questions. Finally we left and I didn't have to think anymore.
2019.07.03: Fuck this clothes shit. Another rant with my Japanese coworker.
This fucking bitch has the nerve to call me and ask for help at 8:30PM with her new Android phone. She has decided that she has had enough with Apple/iPhone and decided to make the switch. She was under a 2 year phone contract and would have been unable to switch without paying a cancellation fee until December but it turns out that because she was paying for insurance or something similar that she was eligable to trade in her iPhone and buy whatever Android phone she wanted for a significantly reduced price which was a pretty nice deal. The only place on Military base that was still open and had free wifi was the USO which was open until 9:00PM so we did not exactly have a lot of time at all. We ended up just going to her house once we have reached the closing time of the USO so I could continue setting up the Android phone for her. She constantly worries about using her data although she barely even understands it. She asked me for help installing some apps and of course I am annoyed that she can't even learn to do that herself but to be fair she has never really used Android before so whatever. I show her the exact steps to installing apps with the Google Play Store. One of the nice things on my part is that she didn't really use much apps at all (Most likely because shes too dumb to find apps to install and use). I installed Signal, LINE, Facebook Messenger, Instagram, Booking.com, and an app named SNOW. Then she asked me if I could transfer all her messages, videos, pictures that were in the apps to her Android phone. She really has a thing about wanting to keep every god damn thing. For Signal on iOS, it turns out that there is no option to export messages and transfer to different devices. There are instructions on how to do this with Android but they specifically state they it can't be done with iOS. Nice fucking job Apple. I had to suggest to her that her best choice is to probably take screenshots or write/type it down if she really care that much. We tried to log into her LINE account only two times and LINE ended up deleting all her previous messages, videos, and photos automatically upon logging in on a different device. Nothing that we could have really done here. Facebook Messenger seems to have kept everything in place with no fuss which is good atleast. By the time we got to the Instagram app I found that she has a difficult time remembering her account details for shit. She can't get a bunch of videos and photos off of iCloud from Apple because she doesn't remember the password that was used. Good job tech illiterate woman. She pretty much forgot her account details for her Instagram account and she would have lost that too if she didn't have her iPhone with her Instagram account still logged in. She created a 'burner' Gmail account under a username she would not have remembered at all. At this point I had to suggest her to write down her account details on a piece of paper, use a password manager (Too advanced for her anyway), or atleast fucking something so she doesn't end up losing accounts because of her incompetence. We got her signed into Booking.com pretty easily atleast. SNOW is some sort of camera app so there was nothing to do for that one. After all that she mentions that she will need 'training' to use all her apps, using a new smartphone OS, and how to transfer files. At that moment I thought that the few things I hate more than anything else is tech illiterate people and people that can't think for themselves and try to solve their own issues. She told me that her ex-husband has done every little technology-related thing for her before which is why she is the way she is now. I would like to say this to you ex-husband - Fuck you reeee !!! You should have made her learn that fucking shit. We have done whatever we could for the night and she drove me back to her barracks.
Now this is the more interesting part of my Japanese coworker. I know I talk a lot of shit about her when it comes to technology but for everything else she is a great woman without a doubt. I never expected for this to happen but we ended up talking for over an hour about her love life and future loneliness. She is in her upper 40s but she is a very cute, healthy, and physically fit woman for her age. Normally you wouldn't associate the word 'cute' with fairly aged people but this is definitely one of the rare cases! While she isn't in a rush to find a new lover she was worried that maybe she isn't as attractive anymore and that it would be difficult to find men her age. I told her honestly that if she were my age or if I was her age that I would most definitely marry her (ignoring her technology illiteracy) if given the chance. This is not a lie either - She really is a great woman and I hope that she finds happiness. Before she told me about her relationship issues she has consulted with her best friend in mainland Japan as a mentor. She was very happy to hear that from me. Her best friend's thoughts on the relationship were pretty spot on. She told me that she started becoming emotionally attached to a slightly older man that she works with. The man was in his 50s but was already married with a woman for over 20 years long. She said that she was not originally attached to him and not really physically attractive at all but he seemed to have a good heart and has put in effort for self-improvement which was visible. He also started getting emotionally attached to her and he even self-improved because of her but she would not give in due to the fact that he was married. The more time they spent together the more that they started to fall for each other. They weren't officially dating or anything but they just liked talking to each other. He got really serious and ended up seperating with his wife for a little bit. The wife became severely depressed taking pictures of herself with a knife and attempted suicide by drowning herself in the bath tub in the restroom of their home. Supposedly the wife comes from a 3rd world country, is very obsessed with him, and is very content with his wealth which has resulted in this predicament. Fortunately she is atleast going to therapy over it. While my Japanese coworker liked him she wouldn't give in for as long as he stayed married which is a smart decision. She has been asking him for months if he was ever going to get a divorce or not. He didn't give clear answers and was wish-washy with his responses. He couldn't let go of the memories of his wife and still loved his wife as well. It doesn't really make sense to want to be in a relationship with another woman while still holding onto memories with the woman you gave up on. He asked her if she was going to be with him and that if she didn't give an answer that he would stay with his wife. He was persistent with that question for months. She couldn't give him an answer because he was still married. If he was divorced then she could have replied. This was a form of manipulation, selfishness, and an attempt to guilt trip her into being in a relationship with him in a pressured manner which is a pretty big red flag. He didn't really think about her emotions or feelings about it. The man was also going to leave the island soon in a few months due to a promotion for his job and had to go back to the United States. He was going to be sad himself if she was going to refuse to him and so she asked me the question if they should still talk before he has to leave. I said that it wouldn't be a good idea for them both of them and it would only hurt them further emotionally. You can't avoid the inevitable and it wouldn't be a good idea for her to keep talking to him when hes still married and emotionally heartbroken. She plans on taking her best friend's and my advice and to stay away from him for the rest of his time still here. For the loneliness part - My Japanese coworker mentions that she will miss me and a couple of her other American friends when we are gone. All of her Japanese friends are up in mainland and she doesn't really have much deep and strong friendship here in Okinawa so she will be dealing with loneliness pretty soon. While I don't really have any friends here, don't really ever feel loneliness myself, and am very much more logical than emotional - I can atleast understand her loneliness. She is a very extroverted, caring, kind, and loving person. It will be a bit harder to find quality people and a lover within her age range. She has asked me if I could research websites or apps for meeting people on the island which I would be happy to do so.
2019.07.02: With the new anime season starting and my journal section getting pretty big, I have archived all of my previous journal entries of the season into Spring 2019 Archive.
I know I haven't really written anything in forever. I have gotten pretty lazy and continuing to try to rip all the CDs I bought from Surugaya. I have pretty much ripped around 600 CDs in 6 months and am still not done yet lol.
I have been thinking for a while about clothes these past two weeks. I haven't bought any clothes (besides one pair of pajamas) in over 3 years now. For the most part, I don't really care much about how I look as long as I look decent and within Military standards. I've found a couple of things about clothes for the past 3 years... One thing to remember is that I don't really have any friends here and nobody really knows or pays attention to me. Right now I have a lot of clothes that were shipped to me from my sister when I was still in high school but find that I wear almost none of them. Its all just taking space for no reason. I wear maybe 5 to 7 t-shirts, 5 work t-shirts, and 1 pair of jeans every single week. I used to have those regular cheap white cotton socks that you'd get from any regular clothing store. I'd wash my t-shirts and socks after only a single day of use. I'd wash the jeans once a week but I think I eventually just stopped washing them so often. Reading digdeeper's article, specifically when he talks about clothes and how they don't last as long as they used to, made me start thinking about my laundry habits and wearing clothes in general. I would like to prolong my clothes for as long as possible and to reduce the amount of laundry I do. After researching and learning from Reddit, I have found that I have been doing my laundry wrong the entire time and have started to notice that my clothes are quite pilled but does not have any holes. A lot of my cheap shit white socks have developed holes and I don't really do any intense excerises or run much. I always did a fair amount of laundry weekly with Tide pods and use the washer and dryer at the default settings here. The default settings are high temperature for 1 hour. Higher temperatures ruins clothes and weakens the fiber material. What I really should be doing is wearing my clothes *as needed*. I wore the same work t-shirt as an undershirt underneath my blouse Monday to Friday as an experiment and the t-shirt doesn't really smell except near the armpit area. Now I know for a fact that I don't need to put a t-shirt in my laundry bag after a single use. I've been wearing the same pair of jeans for several months without washing and they just never seemed to smell. I didn't really know why but then I found out that not washing jeans for several months is actually common and recommended. Sadly I don't think any other piece of clothing can go that long without washing. Instead of using those cheap white cotton socks, I decided to buy Darn Touch Merino wool socks and boot socks. Holy shit these socks are heavenly! They feel very comfortable, durable, keeps my feet warm or cool depending on the weather, are very resistant to odors, have a lifetime warranty no questions asked etc. Normally you'd expect to wear different pairs of socks everyday but I find myself wearing the same pair of socks once a week because they surprisingly just don't smell because of the merino wool. That shit is just magical. I had a good friend that kept raving about some underwear from a company named Saxx. He said they're incredibly comfortable to the point that you'd want to wear them over being naked, they cup your balls nicely, keeps moisture away and stuff. They're pretty pricey for only one pair ($32/ea) but I decided to bite the bullet and upgrade from my cheap Hanes boxers. He is not wrong at all. Just touching them for the first time - They are incredibly soft and nice to the touch! It makes the old Hane boxers feel very rough and not pleasing in comparison. I kind of wish I had researched men's underwear a bit more but I will stick with Saxx for now. Underwear is the one piece of clothing that gets dirty the quickest. I will probably be wearing the same underwear for up to two days at the most. I still wear my same old t-shirts from years ago but am looking into buying some merino wool blend t-shirts as well. Merino wool being resistant to odors can not be understated any further - It is the real deal (Atleast for me in my experience so far). I am tired right now and will write more later...